I was lying in bed crying and then I got up and read this and started laughing. Why is it all so hard?

"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." -- Frederick Douglass (i thought this quote appropriate for the site. enjoy.)

I LOVE THE INTENTION OF THIS SITE. i want to say first off, i LOVE what this site has done for the women who've used it and me personally. from some of the entries i've received from you all, i have felt really happy and in community to know that i am not alone and that i can be of service in some small way in the world to you...and your partners and other folks walking around on this earth. (my rationale? you ask...well, if you're able to dump the load of 'crap' off here versus in someone else's lap, it makes the world a better place for all...could be a stretch...but i am willing to believe it!) and for me personally...(i hate when people say that, 'me personally') just by being brave enough to put the site up for others to experience, i have released some strong negativity that has held me captive for a long while. not to say i don't get annoyed or pissed! at situations, myself or others from time to time...but i am not looking at life through the 'negative' glasses these days. all from publishing this website. i am truly grateful. secondly, i am still working out the glitches that are showing up each day i attempt to upload your pieces...i'm not even asking for your patience, i am just annoyed that the site isn't doing what i tell it to do consistently. ughh. anyhoo. please keep writing. and let me know what you think of the site and anything you think might make it even better. you can easily send me an email at miserableoldcow@gmail.com. moo.

I am always on edge, even when I am happy. I feel there is no way out of this anxiety, because for as long as I have been walking this earth I have been an anxious person. But that's not all I am. I am interested in life, excited about my future, feel good about my relationships, about my own body too. I have so much to appreciate in life. But there is this darkness that's always there... like tropical weather. It can be beautiful out, sunny, green, lush and breezy. There might be flowers and calm all around me--but there's a dark cloud over the hills. Maybe it will come my way today and maybe it will stay where it is. Even if I am blessed enough to enjoy this beautiful day, it will be there to remind me not to forget what the storms are like. I am a sad and joyful person at the same time. Maybe that sounds normal, but no. Something feels very wrong about this. It's too much.

i am really excited this site is up and i know that it has a real purpose- providing women an opportunity to release their crap and to feel better about themselves. enjoy it ladies. enjoy.